last supper

I stayed home sick with an awful head cold a couple weeks ago and caught up on my Netflix queue.

I watched "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead" and decided I was finally motivated to do something about my weight--more about that later.

Tomorrow morning I, along with my husband and best friend, will be entering the prep week for a reboot--more on that later too.

Tonight, let's talk about my last supper. Of course it had to be greasy and forbidden so Supermex it was! I called in my order (bean and cheese burrito, quesadilla, and flautas) and after creating this blog headed to pick it up via bicycle.

Why bike? Why do something seemingly healthy-you ask? Well, my friends, it may appear to be healthy, but really I rode my bike because my car is out of gas because I was too lazy to stop and fill it up on the way home from my lunch date with angrywombat. Tomorrow morning when I am a mom getting her son to preschool before heading to work, responsibility will compel me to fill the tank. Until then, the focus is on gluttony only.

For what it's worth, I regretted riding the bike on the ride home (which is just ever so slightly uphill), but I did find my good tweezers in my bike basket (?! I know, right?) so it really all worked out for the best.

We ate, we laughed, and after polishing off a baby Ruth and a bag of twizzlers from the dollar tree I'm definitely not hungry or wanting for anything (except maybe relief from the pain in my stomach).

Thing is, I haven't been satisfied by any of the junk I've been eating lately. And I've been having a large chocolate frosty from wendy's every morning and the above referenced candy combo every night for weeks. It's disappointing every time. I don't really crave it anymore--I just do it out of habit and the fear of the pain of craving that is bound to come when I stop.

That's how I know what I'm really facing. And the pain in my stomach is how I know I'm really ready.