i am so unbelievably busy. this is not new. i am always busy, still i always used to be able to find the time and space to ensure the needs of others were being met at or above the same level as my own. no longer! i can't seem to find time to do much of anything for anyone but myself and while part of that is completely terrifying... the other part is completely exhilarating!
i am existing in this space where i am honoring my body, mind, and spirit with 90% of my energy and the other 10% is doing things like the things i must do (that i don't want to) to keep my job, home, child, etc.
for example, i have many people to respond to in one way or another, and you know what i just did? i got a bikini wax. yep.
craziness! i have never lived like this before. is this how other people live?
i had an experience this week where i realized how attached i was to another irrational belief.
get this: i actually used to think it was SELFISH to make choices about relationships based on how i felt when i was with a person. somehow i thought that wanting someone in my life because i feel good when i am around them is wrong and choosing to limit contact with people who don't bring out the best in me was not loving, accepting, or nonjudgmental enough.
my goodness i have been a whack job for a good long while, eh? why didn't any of you tell me these things?! yeah, yeah. you tried. i didn't listen. or maybe you didn't even know yourselves?
but that's not why i'm here tonight. i'm here tonight to recap the play month and ring in the plenty month! woot!
Here is the scoop on the play month
My intention for the month:
- Experience more joy (check)
How I think I might get there:
- One intentionally silly thing each day (almost check, but we lovingly forgive ourselves here so basically check anyway)
- Let my son show me how to play (totally check, and he's a great teacher)
- Do a little brain-bending and delve into the available research (I have friend getting her PhD in this very topic!) (no check, but according to her i figured it out on my own... so that's kind of awesome)
here is the confession of the play month:
i have not kept track of my best self qualifiers or done any other charting of moods, intentions, etc. instead i have completed a contract at a former employer, moved myself and my child to a new city, made a buttload of new connections with people i didn't know at all a few weeks ago, acquired a shag rug, and acknowledged how far i've really come.
and i've had some very low and slow days on the journey, and that's okay too!
Normally, I wait until the next post to introduce the next month, but there's something magic about setting intentions on a new moon so today is the day!
This next "month" is:
July 19-August 16: plenty (money, honey)
My intention for the month:
- Experience abundance (of the monetary and loving energy variety)
How I think I might get there:
- Participate in The Receiving Project as a way of learning how to be open to receiving all the gifts the universe has in store for me.
- Practice intentionality with my money. Use the "envelope system" to set limits and observe habits as they relate to spending on things like food, gas, and entertainment
- Money magic! More details to come. Stay tuned!
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| i want you all to know than when you do a google image search for "receive" this is what comes up. |
