This last one was TOUGH. Honestly... it was slower and lower than a lot of things I have experienced lately. What was wonderful about it, however, is that I could see the darkness (witness, acknowledge, honor, sit with, etc.) but I was not the darkness and it was not me. That was new. :)
I saw two things over the weekend that helped lift my spirits and validate my experiences.
The first was a helpful reminder and came in the form of a quote shared by Ronna Detrick in a post called "Words on Waiting"
When you can only do—nothing—you have arrived where healing begins. For us to grow, it takes waiting. In our culture this is the hardest part—patience and waiting. For when we allow a process to unfold in its own rhythm and to grow at its own mysterious pace it often feels as though everything has come to a halt. We mistake it for total stagnation.
~ Gertrude Mueller Nelson, Here All Dwell Free
Just like I said last week, these experiences--no matter how familiar--are all evidence of growth and movement. Low and slow, is still in motion. dammit.
The next thing is something I feel compelled to preface (because I'm a little shy about it and I think it's a good opportunity to try and be funny--let me know how you think it goes?). Plus, I'm a prefacer.
Recently a co-worker asked me a question that made me realize I was doing a shitty job of maintaining a completely neutral professional persona (which is good... why did I think I wanted to do that in the first place?)
That question was: Kate, are you hoogely boogely?
Ha! Yes, yes I am. And hippie dippie and airy fairy and I talk about the universe and the moon and try to find alternatives to shampoo and deodorant and grow my own veggies (sometimes) and even eat them (less often). Now, despite all that, I've always kept a safe distance from the crystals, use of the phrase "love and light," fairies, and other parts of the hoog-boog factions because... well... because I'm judgy.
Hoogely Boogely and judgy. It's a good combination. I judge others, and then I forgive myself for doing so. It's really perfect.
(let's get back on track here) BUT... I've gotta say, I am totally connected to the cosmos. I don't try to be. I don't look for it. I just am... I am highly susceptible to the energies of other people and things. Even this blog. I decided to pattern the months after the phases of the moon, for no reason that I could identify at the time, but since I have noticed that I am in this pattern where the first half of that "month" is about bringing in new things and the second half is about shedding (literally too, "oddly" enough) things that no longer serve me which with the waxing and waning moon is really damn effective.
So, when I saw this in an email from the monthly meditation circle I'm attempting to join (damn day job), I was thrilled to hear that my energy and the energy of the universe is once again matched:
The Universal Energy for June is Water
Created By: (Limitless) Megan Potter
This means that it will be a month of slow and unseen progress; the perfect time to let yourself dream about where you’d like to go from here. This energy calls us to (or forces us to) slow down and to allow ourselves to rest and renew – it’s prime time for healing. It’s also known to stir up deep emotions. Making June a month ideal for letting go of the need to try so hard and to let yourself trust the flow.
Hallelujah! I am not the only one. I am so not the only one... I am basically connected to everyONE! woot!It was a reminder I needed.
Now, to REALLY get back on track
The end of one "month" means the beginning of another... and I've made some changes to the agenda for next month. I was originally going to experiment with adventure and I chose to postpone it because:
- Really that month is going to be about exploring my world close to home (and how to be adventurous in every day life) and I'm moving to a brand new community in the middle of that month... and I'd rather wait until I can give my new town the whole month for exploring.
- I took out a later month (grATTITUDE) because the concept of applying gratitude has been a part of this work from day one and will continue as such... and I needed space for a new one:
- Remember this post about how to stop leaving myself? I hypothesized then, and believe it to be likely true still, that the answer to that question is through play. and...
- It just so happens, my dear friend, tribe member, and transformation consultant friend Becky (you know her as "GT" which is short for Great Transformations! has started a 32 Days of Joy & Silliness Love Club where she's challenging participants to practice at least one act of silliness/joy a day and let that inner child out to play!
So, that's what's on the menu for this month: play! I think it's going to make me a better mother, a better person, a better self-lover show me the playful mother, person, and self-lover inside who has been their all along.
 |
| really. be. ware. be-ware. beware. |
My intention for the month:
- Experience more joy
How I think I might get there:
- One intentionally silly thing each day
- Let my son show me how to play
- Do a little brain-bending and delve into the available research (I have friend getting her PhD in this very topic!)
(this is super scary for me, by the way... but I'm sure that will come up in more detail. we'll chat about it when it does)
Becky and I (and the rest of the group!) would love for you to join us in the 32 Days of Joy & Silliness Challenge. Click on the link and request to join the group and you're in!
xo
p.s. Summer Solstice and New Moon! Woot! (<--that was my hoogely boogely-ness coming out again)
p.s. Summer Solstice and New Moon! Woot! (<--that was my hoogely boogely-ness coming out again)
