explore, instead of adventure

Turns out not using a GPS hasn't made me more adventurous... in the same predictable fashion that showed up when I was to trying to "plan" adventures, I'm finding that living without GPS has taken a few opportunities for spontaneity out of my life.  Instead of just going and figuring it out as I go, I look at a map at home before I leave, memorize it, and then hope the memorization was effective.  It usually is.  What brain space am I robbing myself of by memorizing maps of Reseda?  I don't want to know.  I'm calling this experiment concluded.  Back to the luxury of GPS as needed.

On the up side, I have been made aware of my level of aptitude on Los Angeles streets and freeways which is beyond beginner, but perhaps still just below intermediate.  And you know what?  That's good enough.

I don't have a whole lot to say tonight.  I'm feeling emotionally drained and really just want to cry.  Scratch that.  I want someone to hold me while I cry, but there's no one here so after I write this I get to decide whether I reach out for the support I crave or if I let myself become disappointed in the loneliness that comes up in silence when no one around me has any idea that I am in need...

Yeah, I think I'll reach out.  That sounds a little closer to the path I want to be on.

After a few short days of focusing intently on Positive Discipline my relationship with Spiderman has completely turned around.  We are back in our flow and I am able to see him again as the child I know and love... and what remains is that the child I know and love is in pain... and that hurts.  And I still don't know if I'm supposed to do something about it, and if I am what that something is, and if I know what that something is how I'm supposed to afford it.

ack.  (not even enough juice left for an exclamation point)

So instead of hearing from me (I guess you just did), maybe you want to read about how to be an explorer of the world.  I enjoyed it.  I hope you will too.