I'm not sure when it happened, but sometime over the last couple of months I became a whiner. *ahem* excuse me, I mean... I returned to my whiner self (it isn't as if I have no experience being a whiner). Instead of appreciating the brilliance of the life I've built for myself (with some very generous assistance from El Universe) I was focusing intently on what I didn't have and how much I wanted it and how great the distance was between the present and where I wanted to be. And being very grumpy about it.
After only a couple of days of very intentionally focusing on gratitude in the form of triggering myself to ask "what is there to be grateful for in this situation?" and then answering the question I am energized again. This renewed practice of turning my focus away from an irritant into an opportunity to exist in Love has taken me back to a connection with my best self and forward to the kinds of things I've been longing for!
I know how annoying it can be to listen to someone say something is "simple" or when everything seems complicated and difficult. The truth (for me) is, it is simple... but that doesn't mean it's easy. It can't be forced. I knew I needed to practice gratitude if I wanted to move forward into lightness instead of dwelling in the shadows, but it wasn't going to happen until the moment I was willing and "ready" (whatever the fuck that means) to do it. One day I woke up and was "ready" and now I'm in that place where life does feel so easy that if i were the kind of person who judged herself i would feel like an asshole for all the times i complained about how hard it was.
Have you ever taken note of what's in the space between hard and easy for you? What gets you there? People say things like "change will happen when the pain of staying put is greater than the fear of the unknown" (loosely quoting god only knows who), but again... that doesn't actually happen in an instant. It's true for me that it often feels like waking up ready, but if I glance back I can see that there were stepping stones between the headspace I was in and where I am now.
Here are a few of the things that got me here this time:
- This note from the Universe: Go ahead, Kate, want it all. Just learn to be happy before it arrives, or you may not notice when it does. :) Tallyho, The Universe
- Feel free the (insert your name here) and use it for yourself.
- Several gems in an interview with Lama Surya Das at Teaching What We Need to Learn: "I'm just being there while getting there," and “If we are not here now we won’t be there then. There will be no heaven, there will be no peace and contentment.”
- I've mentioned this series a gazillion times here already... if you're not already listening I don't know what else I can say about it except maybe: please go listen to an interview or two. LIFE CHANGING.
- Devon said something (completely kind and supportive like everything else she says) that triggered the hell out of me and in the process of integrating I found myself seeing myself clearly enough to see the path to growth
- I'm not offering her to you, but you can probably have a similar experience with one of your mirror people. Practice vulnerability and it will happen. Promise.
This is what works for me... This is the stuff that "gets me there" (there=readiness). Someone remind me of this next time I'm a grump-a-lump?
